Father Give Me Strength

So this shape is what I would like to call my worst nightmare. I would more than likely kill myself (figuratively of course) if I EVER let myself go like this.  Now I know, I know, "big is beautiful" blah blah blah. "My man luv it doe" blah blah blah yeah he's prolly knockin down one of yo fat ass friends. Grrrr this is a specimen of 20 sum'n years of porkchop eatin. Round ass look like she got two rows o tiddies attitude prolly as stink as the back of her fat neck. I need a salad after dis.....